How to Deal With a Passive-Aggressive Lover


Dealing with a passive-aggressive partner can be a challenging experience.

Passive aggression can be in form of a simple ‘I’m okay’ followed by bottling up feelings, getting angry, slamming doors, flinging objects around and sabotaging your partner.

Pointing out this behaviour to your partner might, most often than not, increase their aggression.

How then do you deal with such a situation?

You first have to study your partner’s passive-aggressive behaviours. This will give you the upper hand in handling and understanding them better.

How to know a passive-aggressive partner

  1. A partner who sabotages things that are important to you regularly.

  2. A partner who often uses hurtful comments or actions.

  3. A partner who tends to “punish” you later for conflicts you thought you’d resolved together.

  4. A partner who makes you feel angry or unsettled around them often.

Identifying and understanding the source

Passive-aggressive behaviours are built over time mostly because of an individual’s difficulty in verbally communicating their feelings.

Understanding that your partner’s passive aggression isn’t mostly intentional but a means to let out their feelings.

Low self-esteem, a prolonged feeling of inadequacy and a sense of powerlessness are common reasons triggering your partner’s passive-aggressive traits and habits.

Accept your partner for who they are

Upon familiarising yourself with your partner’s flaws, if you really care about them, this might be perhaps the time to accept them for who they are.

This means putting in an effort to devise means of getting your partner to share their feelings. Also, forgive their past wrongdoings as you understand why they act the way they do.

Set boundaries and verbally communicate with your partner

In order to eradicate or at least reduce your partner’s aggressive tendencies, set boundaries. Setting these boundaries means you are looking out for yourself as well as them.

Also speaking to your partner about their patterns and encouraging them to speak up instead of bottling up issues might go a long way in reducing their passive-aggressive traits.

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